Writing Around a Full-Time Job, Marriage, and Two Kids

(Or, How I Steal Time Without Losing My Mind)

People love to say, “I wish I had time to write.”
I get it. Between the day job, keeping your marriage strong, and raising kids who have more energy than a power plant, the hours vanish fast. But here’s the thing: no one “finds” time. You either make it, or you don’t.

I’ve got a full plate:

• A full-time job that eats up 8 to 9 hours a day, sometimes more.
• A marriage I want to actually invest in and make thrive, not just coexist in.
• Two kids who need juice, snacks, bedtime stories, daddy play time and someone to explain why cheese puffs don’t count as dinner (again).

And I still make the time to write (almost every day).

Here’s how I do it, hopefully it will help you if you’re struggling:

1. Don’t Wait for Perfect Conditions

If I waited for the house to be quiet, the chores to be done, and my coffee to be hot, I’d still be on chapter one of my very first book. I write in the fifteen minutes before work. I write on my phone in the car while wifey is in the grocery store. I write with the TV on in the background because my kids are on their thirty-forth rewatch of Monsters Inc.

2. Treat Your Writing Time Like a Meeting You Can’t Cancel

If I have a 6 a.m. call with my boss, I show up. Writing is the same. I don’t negotiate with myself about whether I “feel like it.” The feeling shows up after the words do. Some days I get in that flow state and crush my word goal…some days it is an absolute grind. Either way, do it anyway.

3. Steal Time in the Margins

You would be shocked what you can do in ten minutes if you stop scrolling. Waiting for the pasta water to boil? Outline a scene. Lunch break? Write 200 words. Those stolen scraps add up faster than you think.

4. Let Go of the Guilt

There is always something else I could be doing. But I have learned that giving myself permission to write makes me a better partner, parent, and human. My family gets more of me when I am not resenting the time I never get for my own work.

5. Remember the “Why”

The truth? I don’t write because it is easy. I write because I love it. Because I have a passion for it. Because I believe that it will help me give my beautiful family a better life. It is something that keeps me feeling alive in the middle of all the chaos. If I gave it up, I would still be busy. I would just be more empty at the same time. I can’t be the best husband and father I can be if I am not fulfilled as well.

So no, it is not about “having time.” It is about deciding you are worth carving the time out for. Even if it is ugly. Even if it is small. Even if it is at 5 a.m. with cold coffee.

You want to be a writer? Then write. The rest of your life will make room, but only if you stop asking permission.

Until next time,

Tyler